Backstop

In the game of baseball, backstop typically refers to the high fence or screen located behind the catcher. The purpose of the backstop is to stop a missed catch from rolling away from the catcher. The catcher is responsible for every ball that comes his way. He's also responsible for ensuring that a run doesn't score either. It's a very demanding position with little room for error. In baseball most of the positions allow for a degree of teammate backup. Outfielders help cover each other, they also help cover infielders. The catcher is all on his own.

Except for that bit of fencing. In the frenzy of a missed ball, that fencing provides a second chance, a way to redeem the miss. If he's fast enough and accurate enough, he just might salvage his mistake.

Life is a bit like baseball. It's not an individual sport. You work with a variety of people in all aspects of your daily life. Coworkers, friends, family and even strangers make up your team. It can be tempting to think that you are alone. You really aren't. You may be profoundly isolated, but you are never totally alone.

You also can't do everything. Again, I know how tempting it is. You think that you should be an expert in all areas of your life. News flash, it's not going to happen. You are going to make mistakes, and things will get past you. This is where the team around you becomes important. These are people you work with to help keep you going, and to provide backup.

The most vital of your teammates is your backstop. This is the person who lets you step out of your comfort zone and take risks. This is the person who allows you to be aggressive, push hard, and find your growing edge. You can take those risks because you know that when the chips are down, if the ball passes you, your backstop is there to minimize the damage.

Those who experience the greatest success learn to value their team and cherish their backstop. You can ride solo from the front of the Tour de France, knowing that your team will catch you and ride you back in to safety. You can push hard knowing that if you miss a detail, that person is there to catch the error. You can make the risky reach for your dreams knowing that if you miss, you won't fall far.

If you live a full life, you get the joy of backstopping others while knowing that you have your own backstop. If you don't have a good backstop, look for one. Think about people you trust, people you know will take the job seriously. Learn to accept their friendship for what it is. Allow that person in to your team.

You will find it far easier to reach for greatness, to play the game of life with heart, and to be the remarkable person you truly are. Why? Because you always have someone backstopping you.

I Dreamed a Dream (Why Susan Boyle Matters Part II)

I Dreamed a Dream (Why Susan Boyle Matters Part II)-

Have there ever been words as poignant as those sung by Scotswoman Susan Boyle on May 30th. She returned to the song that launched her to global superstar status, “I Dreamed a Dream” from Les Miserable. “There was a day when men were kind.”

That line in many ways encompasses a marathon seven weeks for Susan. She went from spinster recluse to celebrity of the moment. That type of fame is hard for someone who's had time to build to it. When you've got no idea what fame really means, it's a change none of us can fathom. In the final week of competition, the British tabloid medial cranked up the intensity. Stories of Susan losing her cool, and cracking up under pressure ran rampant. Keep in mind that folks like George Clooney who've had years of experience will lose it with the paparazzi. Those folks make a living by pushing the boundaries to get a reaction. The reaction they wanted from Susan? Prove that poor country bumpkin Boyle couldn't hack the pressure of being a star.

For the moment we'll ignore the discussion about this fascination with building people up only to tear them down.

The reality is that as more of Susan's story came out, the more external forces sought to write their version of what the end should be. She's learning disabled, doesn't fit the model of star, and obviously needs to have that exposed to the world. As pressure builds, more and more experts chime in saying Susan has no business being exposed to that level of pressure. It's not fair to poor little Susan.

In the mean time the experts continued to refuse to listen to what they were being told. Forty seven year old Boyle was insisting on continuing with the competition. Yes there were ups and downs. In the end, she made the decision to keep going.

How often have you faced something that scared you? Something that seemed impossible to overcome, something that required you to reach far and dig deep. In order to move to the next level in your life, facing down that fear is mandatory. Without facing it, you never give yourself the chance to grow. Fear is a warning sign. It's not a stop sign.

Susan had a choice. Back away from a stressful situation and return to status quo. Or face down fears and anxieties, and reach for her dream.

The experts encouraged Susan to quit. It's too much, too hard, and she would not be capable of dealing with the stress. The experts know what's best for poor little Susan. You should listen to the experts in all things.

On the other side of the fence, you have a different group of experts. The producers of “Brittan’s Got Talent” are experts in helping individuals chase dreams. Yes there's profit involved. That doesn't negate their expertise. One of the more compelling moments of the competition came in the first group of auditions when Jamie Pugh took the stage. As he stood before the judges, Simon Cowell looked at him and stated, “you're terrified aren't you?” Jamie nodded, then with encouragement went on to perform beautifully. He has stage fright so bad that he'd never performed for anyone before. How's that for first time, in front of a huge studio audience? At the end of the performance, Simon looked at him and said, “I think I know what this means to you...learn to believe in yourself.”

Good television? Sure. Good dream building? Absolutely.

Susan decided to chase her dream. She arrived on stage for the finale, poised, polished and delivered an amazing performance. Standing ovation from the crowd, the judges, and from Simon high praise for showing her critics they were wrong.

Minutes later, Susan learned she had not won the competition. With grace and poise, she acknowledged the winners. Around the globe, headlines blared, “Boyle Loses, Dream Shattered!”

Really?

At the beginning of the competition, Susan was asked what the dream was. Her reply, “to be a professional singer.” It wasn't win the competition. It wasn't be a global celebrity. It was being a professional (meaning getting paid for it) singer. That's always been the dream. It was the dream as she scraped together money for a demo tape. It was the dream as she nursed her mother through her final years. It was the dream from childhood.

For a moment, the dream got blurred out by others expectations. What they failed to realize is that regardless of the outcome of competition, her dream is well on its way to reality. Susan will have her chance to sing for her supper. She will odds on one day sing for the Queen. Odds are good she will sell several albums and prove to naysayers that you are never too old to give up on your dreams.

Susan has dreamed for years of being on stage, center spotlight, sharing her talent. That's the dream, her dream. Which has now moved from the land of dream to achieved goal. Yes she's encountered some bumps. That's what it takes to achieve big goals and big dreams. You have to face down fears. You have to face down those who say CAN'T, when in the back of your mind you hear a whispered can. Each and every expert who said Susan didn't belong in the competition did her a disservice. Growth doesn't happen in moments of comfort. It happens in moments of fear and pain. It happens when you learn to reach for something, even with the possibility that you may not reach it.

As of current reports, one reason for Susan's breakdown post competition was fear. She'd bought into the rhetoric that in order to succeed she needed to win. Once she removed herself from the spotlight, she could be reassured that no matter what, the dream was still alive.

Winning is not the only path to success. Winning is just one direction. It's not even a promise that you will be successful. True success in life comes from working daily at something that brings you true happiness. For Susan, that something is performing.

Susan Boyle shows us a couple things. First, you have to keep focused on your vision and your goals. Second, understand what your dream really means. Listen to it. Is it something that's dragged you through life? I can promise that a smaller pant size isn't what's gotten you from point A to point B at every stage of your life. Look hard. I can promise you that winning a championship, while its great, won't move you through your life. Why? Because it's a single point event. Look again. Listen hard. Find that dream, buried under dust and debris. Polish it off. Now ask yourself, is it worth it to chase that dream? If the answer is yes, then do it. Don't stop. Regardless of outcome, the journey will take you to places you can't imagine.

It will never be too late to dream a dream. It will never be too much to fight for that dream. You are worth it, no matter what you look like, no matter what the world may think of you on first glance.

That's why Susan Boyle matters.

The Line Between Responsibilty and Excuse

A critical component to learning how to transform your body and life is accepting responsibility for your actions. Frequently it's a lifetime of poor decisions that have lead you to the point you are at now. Bad food decisions, decisions not to exercise, and a host of other miscues have brought you to this point.

Accepting personal responsibility for conduct is HUGE. Learning to accept that YOU are the one who puts the food into your mouth, YOU are the one who decides when to workout, and YOU are ultimately responsible for your health and well being is big. It may be the first time in years that you've really acknowledged your part in the state you find yourself.

Being responsible is a powerful thing. Understanding your ability to control things around you and to elicit the response you seek is amazing and empowering. You find yourself moving forward rapidly. You see the goal and now know how to work toward it.

Yet knowing how to harness responsibility doesn't protect you from moments of adversity. Things happen, things will go wrong. Your two year old will shove an Oreo into your mouth. You get hurt. You lose your job. You hit something that you can't quite get over.

It happens. It happens to the best of us. You get knocked down, dust yourself off, and start moving forward again. Only, you've fallen back really far. The weight has come back. You find yourself buying bigger clothes. Suddenly those vows about lifestyle change seem hollow. What went wrong? Obviously you did something wrong because if you hadn't, then you wouldn't be here. It doesn't matter that you had a broken leg and were on bedrest for a month. You could have controlled what you put in your mouth. It's an excuse. You are responsible. Lose you job, and have a child hit serious academic issues at the same time? Doesn't matter. You are responsible for your own behavior and conduct. Breakup with your significant other and bury yourself for a month and a half in Chunky Monkey ice cream? It doesn't matter that you were planning on marrying the guy. It doesn't matter that it really hurt. You are responsible for your behavior, your conduct. You can't blame anyone else for your behavior but you. You are responsible.

You are responsible. How could you screw up like that? You are responsible, how could you fail yourself like that? You are responsible, if you were better this would not have happened.

STOP.

If you were better, this would not have happened? Explain that Sparky. When did you gain the power to predict the future? When did you become perfect? And more critically, why are you here and not off making millions of dollars showing others how to be perfect?

Congratulations. You've found a new excuse for yourself. Somewhere along the line, being responsible became a way to keep you from moving forward. You let it eat at you a little bit at a time. Every time you start to reach again, it comes back that you failed. You couldn't keep things together when the going got a little tough. You weren't on point, and you are responsible for that.

News flash- things happen. Big things, little things, and odd shaped things. We call this life. Sometimes life hits you with a group of events that you just can't battle through. You have so many things to juggle, something has to go. It happens. You do your best to try and ensure that your health isn't one of those balls. But let's be honest, those are old, old habits. They can sneak back in a little bit at a time. When the rest of your life is upside down, an old habit, even a bad one can be comfortable.

There's a balance between being responsible and using that as a way to move forward, or being responsible and using it to hold yourself in place.

Life happens. You get angry, sad, or disoriented. You fall in love and have the world at your fingertips. People are born and die. You will make mistakes. The wonderful thing about being human is that you always have the power to start moving forward. That means accepting that you will not be perfect. Failure is not the end of the world, and you did nothing wrong. It means you learned a new set of limits, and you get to move past them.

The past is the past. If you are still using it to beat yourself up, there's an issue.

It's not easy to let go of the responsibility excuse. You have to learn to listen for the little echo of, "you're a screw up." When you hear that voice, it's not responsibility talking. That's an excuse and it's time to dig it out. You are allowed to be human, to screw up, and to not be perfect. It doesn't matter if that lack of perfection results in gaining 20 pounds. It happens. Take a deep breath and let it go. Look forward.

Why Susan Boyle Matters

Why is Susan Boyle an international phenomenon? The matronly Scotswoman has taken the globe by storm after her first audition on iTV's “Britan's Got Talent”. Since her April 11, 2009 audition, millions around the world have logged on to YouTube to listen to a simply mind blowing performance. The woman, who could easily be any one's mother, stepped onto the stage as nothing remarkable to look at. Both judges and audience alike expected one of the many bad acts you get in these type of reality shows. It's the standard gimmick. You mix in simply awful performances with strong ones to give a little drama to the show and allow the audience at home to poke a little malicious glee at those who flop.

Boyle had all the markings of just such an act. Fat, frizzy hair, round face, and nervous attitude on stage. The judges and audience laughed when she told them her dream was to become a professional singer. Of course nobody would give her a chance. We all know professional singers don't look like that. What cheek! How dare she think of herself as the next Elaine Page? Adding to the joke was her choice of song, “I Dream a Dream” from the legendary musical Les Miserable. A dream indeed.

The cynicism lasted for all of four notes. It took four notes for the dumpy little Scot to bring the auditorium to a standing ovation. A standing ovation in the middle of the performance. Turns out the woman who isn't much to look at is sure something to listen to. In minutes she turned an auditorium in Wales full of cynics into apologists and instant fans. The lady can sing.

She was so obviously nervous that she finished her performance and then started to walk off stage. In that moment, I fell in love. She honestly didn't see or hear what the rest of us had. She didn't understand just how remarkable she was. It's an affliction that many deeply talented individuals have. They just don't understand how good they are. I'm sure in her life more than one person has listened to her amazing voice and then told her that she sang well, but wasn't getting anywhere unless she dropped 50 pounds, got her hair done, and fixed her teeth.

The look of absolute shock and joy as the judges commented on her performance was priceless. It's always a joy to see true, unscripted and unaffected happiness on any of these shows. Susan was thrilled and we were thrilled for her.

A few days ago Susan battled things out in the finals. The beauty of it was she really hadn't changed in the last month or so. Her hair had been colored, and her dress was a bit better suited for her. Yet the core of Susan is still intact. Big voice, thick Scottish accent, and the joy of watching her dream slowly come true. When she finished as runner up to dance group Diversity, she smiled, congratulated them, and showed true character on stage.

Now cynics are all ready calling Susan's story nothing remarkable. They point out that just because one flash in the pan talent makes it through doesn't mean that the entertainment industry is going change. People will still judge based on appearance. Society has done that from the beginning of time. I'm sure in Cro-Magnon days Gugh would be putting down Ergh because Ergh didn't drape his bear skin just so. That's not what Susan Boyle is about. She's not about changing the way the entertainment industry operates. She isn't about the power of chasing a dream, though that is a compelling part of her story.

What Susan does is touch the part of every one of us seeking recognition for the person we are. Not a one of us hasn't railed against the universe because people don't see the true person we are. The self improvement industry rakes in billions world wide as people quest to improve the person they are. Deep down though we all wish that wasn't the case. The moment of deepest connection for anyone comes at that point in time where people accept you as is, without any artifice.

Just you.

Susan Boyle forced us to face down preconceptions regarding appearance and talent. She did it on her terms. We either recognize her for her skills or say appearance matters to the exclusion of talent and skill. You either accept Susan as is, or dismiss her. That's why Susan Boyle matters.

Ups and Downs

Into every life uphills and downhills must fall. In no case is this more true than when visiting the National Zoo in Washington DC. The grounds were laid out by legendary American landscape architect Fredrick Law Olmstead. Olmstead believed in creating natural environments where you designed in harmony with the natural surroundings, not against them. At the time he worked, this was revolutionary thinking. It lead to the design of such American icons as Central Park in New York. His design for the National Zoo in Washington is a masterpiece of sweeping curved paths that meander through a section of Rock Creek Park. You find yourself following the terrain down into the depths of the zoo, observing pandas, elephants, tigers and a variety of native fauna. It's not uncommon to encounter deer of an early morning as they cross through the zoo on their way to feeding grounds.

Did I mention down into the zoo? In a moment of brilliance, the planners for the National Zoo decided it was both smart and clever to plop the zoo onto one of the few genuine bits of hill you can find in Washington. You wander down the paths, enjoying the sights until you reach the bottom. Where you realize...there's a bit of a hill on your walk back.

More than one tourist family has discovered this when they are down by the Great Cats, with a cranky toddler who insisted on walking and who now is no longer interested in being a big girl. Locals warn visiting friends and family. Without fail the visitor replies, “it can't be that bad.” It is, and soon they learn.

We often use the description of hills when describing transformative fitness programs to others. The explanation is that your initial transformation is akin to climbing a mountain. The end of the challenge is you on top of a high peak in triumph! Then we direct people to the next mountain, explaining that the brief downhill they experience post challenge is normal. It's just a way to build up momentum for the next event. When people fall back into old habits we exhort them to push back up the mountain again. The assumption being that being at the bottom of the mountain with no momentum is somehow a sign of failure.

Well it's not. You will be healthy, fit, and have your head screwed on straight and find yourself at the bottom of a hill. How did you get there? Easy! You walked. It wasn't a negative, it was actually the direction you wanted to go. If the tigers and baby goats are at the bottom of the hill, you eventually have to walk down to see them. You'll wander around and snap tons of pictures. You will enjoy every moment of the trip. Eventually though, you realize that it's time to go unless you want to get locked in with the bears. You've been at a dead stop all afternoon. There's only one way back out. Start walking. It's a nice steady grade back up the hill.

It's hard. You feel every muscle as you pull yourself up the hill. It's frustrating because you know that you can bench 200 pounds easy, but this little walk is killing you. There's no way to quit. You simply have to push. There's no cheering crowds, just you. No big motivational moment. Just a long slow climb.

Every downhill has an up. Sometimes it's an easy trip back up. Others it's just that long slow pull to the top. Both are part of your life. Both will happen. Not might, will. The key is understanding what the long slow pull up teaches you. It shows you that no matter how hard it looks, you have the power to make it up. You may have to stop and rest. That's okay. You still get up because you don't want to get stuck in the zoo, locked up with the animals. Look at them, caged, no true freedom, bound by the walls around them. Remind you of any folks you know? So get up and keep climbing. Long and slow, your calves burning as you push yourself up and out.

End of the day, you will escape the zoo and be ready to move out into the world.

Control vs Power

Over the last several weeks I've noticed the return of a feeling I enjoy.

Now you may think that feeling is one of control. After all, moving is a very chaotic experience. It ranks up there on the list of things that most of us don't enjoy. I've had more than one friend comment on how out of control a move can make them feel.

In the world of weight oriented fitness, control is often set out at the end goal. Folks want to be in control of their life.

Thing is, control is an illusion. In reality, there are very few things that we are ultimately able to control. Control is about trying to wrestle situations to fit your operating parameters. You want to exert influence over the world around you. Often people with weight to lose comment on feeling out of control. So they compensate by locking down and trying to regulate all aspects of the world they live in.

That's not so easy to do. Your ability to control the world around you is rather limited. You can't force your coworkers to never bring pizza in to work. You can't force other drivers on the road to signal when they change lanes. You can't make it rain in the middle of a drought. Over time the small things that you can't control will start to grate on you. It often turns into a fight. You are forcing your body to do what you want it to, even when the old body isn't so keen on the idea. Over time, your body and mind start to rebel. It starts out with the voices in you head saying, "it's okay to skip your workout today. No biggie." Then it moves to eating three slices of pizza in one sitting, washed down with a beer. Each small slide erodes the control that has been imposed on your life.

Control for me has always symbolized locking something down. You are forcing the system to work your way or else. The problem is, at some point in time you run into a situation you can't lock down and control.

In this situation, you either start to fall apart, or you start looking for a new approach. That new approach is power.

Power is another way of influencing the world around you, but it's also about transferring energy. In physics, power is work done. It's proactive, and constantly in motion. It's taking energy and directing it.

Control is something external, and something that can be taken from you. Power is something you can always generate. A key life transition is understanding that you shift from controlling the world around you, to generating power to move yourself forward.

I can't control the actions of the driver next to me. I do have the power to change my direction so the idiot doesn't hit me. I can't control the coworker who brings in pizza. I have the power to say no thank you.

Power isn't something that can be taken away from you. You make a choice to give it up. You can also chose to reclaim it. It's a simple matter of deciding to transfer your energy from one area to another. The feeling I reclaimed last week wasn't control. It was power. It's power that I've built daily, year in and year out. It's something that never leaves me. At any moment in time I can push forward in a new direction.

I'll never lose control because my life isn't about control. It's about generating power to take me forward.

Snapshots in Time

It's funny to go back and find some of these old blog entries. I can remember those moments so clearly as I read back.

Over the last few years I've gotten good at blogging my thoughts and sharing them. But it was sharing them in a smaller setting. I've been considering moving to a larger medium for a bit now. Funny thing to realize that I have the perfect place to start putting my thoughts again.

So once again, it's back to the beginning. Life circling back and around, yet still moving forward.

Eyes up, face forward, the future beckons.

Four Weeks and Counting

I'm in the final stretch. The last 4 weeks of my Challenge cycle. I finish up Christmas Eve. That's really kind of cool when you think about it. :)

Today was about overcoming adversity on the fly. I added in Ab Bootcamp to my regular cardio workout. One tiny little problem. My plan to use a swiss ball for back extensions went boom. The ball wasn't inflated enough, and due to my apartment configuration I could not get enough leverage to keep the ball steady. So I missed one set.

Solution! I grabbed the footstool for my chair and used that. It worked perfectly. More importantly I was reminded that attitude is EVERYTHING here. If you think you can't you are right. Find a way to make this work. Just do it. No excuses.

Layer by layer...I'm finally finding the Champion others see when they look at me.